journal 1z

Oh God,
Where is my confidant? Why don't I have one person who actually can relate to me? I have Rachel but I want to talk with someone on a deeper level, share all of my secrets. I wish... no. I push everyone away. Why do you let me do this? I miss them. He was such a good friend, no one could understand our connection. I could never marry him but he was a great friend. Another fiend I am scared of and want to cower at the sight of him. Onc we were able to tolerate each other and I can still remember his sweet side. He understood me... would he still though? Maybe not. And another friend was good listener btu I feld smothered in the one way friendship. She is still my friend but not so close. Now, I have no one. God, I want to depend on you but even you said it was not good for us to be alone. Help me.