I know I must let you be my Abba, Father. I do love you but I don't let you get very close. I like this time I have when you listen but I supose I must listen back sometimes too. I have yet to meet my new cousin... well, actually cousins and aunt. We are at the yucky water town but they are still coming. I got no sleep last night so I need to sleep tonight. Oh, Lord, Father, would you help me through the summer? I really need you now! I long to be in the arms of a loving husband but maybe I am too young yet. Your time will be good. Ad for now I will follow you. And God, please... I'm scared to love, really I am. Please keep my heart guarded until the right man comes, than Lord please show me. I don't know how love works, Father, but as you long for the church as your bride I long for a husband. Well, maybe not so much but there is definitely something in my heart, I'm sure, you the God who has shown me such love has put it there but... I don't mean to sound ungrateful but why now? I wanted to focus on soally on you next year and you give me these new feelings. Please Lord show me your will and give me patience so I can not worry or have my mind wandering. I love you so much and thank you for your love. I really need it but I also need some help. I'm not so good at this prayer thing yet but please try to understand. I do love you and trust your judgment. Amen Oh God, my friend still... please show him your light. I do care so much.